Snooter's Revenge
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: A long-forgotten foe is red hot with anger and hungry for trouble


"Doesn't this look neat, Kirby?" asked Bandana Dee as he posed in front of a mirror. "I've been working out, tossing my spear three hundred times in a row each morning."

"Poyo!" squeaked Kirby as he chowed down on his strawberry shortcake.

Bandana Dee chuckled. "Not only am I getting better at hitting my target, but my Waddle Dee physique is looking mighty appealing!"

Kirby smiled at his friend's happiness. He then heard a noise outside of the house. Kirby ran over to the door and opened it.

"What up, suckers?" grinned Dedede, resting his massive mallet on his shoulder.

"Yipe!" cried Bandana Dee as he ran to grab his spear. "What do you want?"

"Relax, fellas. I isn't in the mood to cause no ruckus," he sly sneer turned to a frown. "There's a big prob in Dreamland…"

Kirby looked confused.

"Kirby, it's horrible…" Dedede began to sweat. "There's a madman droppin' lightning bolts on all the peeps!"

"Lightning?" said Bandana Dee. "Is it Kracko?"

"No… it's much, much worse…" Dedede heard something and turned around. "By boogity! The snoot drooped!" All of a sudden the king disappeared into the gullet of a bizarre red creature.

Bandana Dee gasped and started throwing his spear at the newcomer. "Kirby! That's a Snooter!" he screamed as he too was devoured.

This upset Kirby immensely. Two of his "friends" had just succumbed to the wrath of this terrifying beast.

"SNOOT!" bellowed the monster.

Kirby jumped out the window and ran away as fast as he could. But he was being chased.

As Kirby ran, lightning rained down from the heavens and tried to zap him out of existence. He ate one of the bolts and became Spark Kirby.

"SNOOT!" roared Snooter as it charged up its flaming breath and spewed it all over the area, reducing the lush lands to ash.

Kirby tried to fire off lightning, but Snooter kept eating it, rendering the copy ability pointless.

Kirby was getting mad too. He discarded his Spark and ran over to a pond and inhaled the water. He became Water Kirby and tried to douse Snooter's flames.

It was no use. As soon as Kirby started firing off water, Snooter breathed ice and froze the liquid projectile in its place.

Kirby's anger turned to fear. He discarded the ability and swallowed a parasol. He tried whacking some sense into Snooter, but Snooter had another trick up his stubby little sleeve…

Snooter grabbed Kirby with his massive, muscular left arm and squeezed the life out of the poor little guy.

Meta Knight flew by and landed in the middle of the battle, slicing the veiny limb off with Galaxia. "I've arrived just in time…" said the masked swordsman.

"Poyo?" Kirby said, slightly dazed. He shook off the feeling and ran up to Meta Knight's side.

"Must be from Dedede's muscle form… I'm guessing he ate him too?" Meta Knight said. Kirby nodded.

"SNOOT!" wailed Snooter as he used his powers to regenerate his muscular arm. He expanded his right arm too and grabbed Meta Knight, shoving him into his mouth.

"Kirby! It's up to you!" cried Meta Knight right before the lips sealed.

Kirby was so scared. So, he pulled out his sniper rifle and took care of business.

Yup. This is a WTTM fanfic, homes.

Snooter ate the vicious lead Kirby fired and then took out his twin plasma cannons. He blasted the pink puffball with furious rage.

Kirby inhaled the shots and transformed into Plasma Kirby. He charged up and launched the ultimate shockwave.

Kawasaki saw the epic fight and zoomed in with a plate of succulent ham. "Hey, Kirby! Use this!"

Kirby ate Kawasaki's Cooking and it made Kirby's abs twice as beefy as ever. He charged towards Snooter and used manly pecs to squeeze him to death.

Snooter retaliated by bringing out his own massive pecky-abby goodness. He fought Kirby with impactful punches from his solid thorax.

The two's pecs and abs punched each other and grew their own meaty biceps.

Kirby and Snooter were locked in mortal combat for twelve straight hours. By then, they had awakened the ability to travel to parallel universes.

The two rocketed into the heavens and punched each other some more with the muscles in their eyeballs.

Kawasaki shed a tear as the warriors exuded their wholesome badboy charisma.

Kirby ducked under a punch and delivered a sick knee to Snooter's fat lips. Snooter bled all over the place and then used the blood to create ninja clones. The clones attacked Kirby.

Kirby had the ever-living snot kicked out of him. He then used his mucus expulsion to create his own clones. These ones were better than Snooter's ninjas because they were all Captain Rex from Star Wars.

"SNOOT!" roared Snooter as he dashed backwards and powered up a ki blast.

Mayor Blustergas of the Mike Hall of Fame gasped from his Lamborghini. "Sweet Easter! That's the Snooterpooter-hoo!" he cried as he began eating his own toes with a side dish of parsley and eggnog ('cause you gotta have that nog).

Kirby gasped and then charged up his own ki blast. "Poyo…" he hummed with intense emotion.

Gooey descended from a beam of light that appeared between the two. "My dear lads…" he said with a lone tear in his left googly eye.

Then Kirby thought back to his days at the Counsel of Elders.

 **Epic Flashback…**

" _Kirby, you must bar the chaos, lest the evils that inhabit our domain spill over into questionable entropy," said Daroach with a tilt of the hat he stole from Carmen Sandiego._

" _Aye, for fortitude of our sacred realm…" added Rick._

" _Life breeds life and death becomes a void…" concluded Kine. He then spilt his heart out to Tiff and it was really awkward for everyone._

 **End of Epic Flashback…**

"Poyo…" Kirby dartmouthed as he made his muscles expand to the size of Mr. Frosty's very obvious slappin' rear tushquarters.

"Snoot?" Snooter nani'd as he felt the awesome presence of his opponent's sick vibes.

Kirby then launched all of his power on Snooter and burnt him to a crisp. Kirby then flew down and swallowed the fried baddie.

"He did it…" said Meta Knight as he and everyone else emerged from the trap door after several hours.

"Poyo…" Kirby rasped with his amazing jawline on full display.

"I can't believe he did da deed!" said Dedede as he slapped his tubbiness.

"Poyo…" Kirby said again and then waved to his friends "goodbye". He then jetted up to the skies and flexed with all his glory to the onlookers below.

"And I thought I was the hottest stud alive…" said Bandana Dee, utterly mesmerised by Kirby's satisfying glutes.

"Poyo!" Kirby roared heroically as he flew into the sun. It exploded due to Kirby's stellar abs which caused Planet Popstar to go into an ice age. Only Dedede, Pengi, Chilly, and Mr. Frosty survived the harsh climate. Dedede held Escargoon's cold hands dearly as their last moments together passed.

 **THE END**


End file.
